Stay connected with your kids. Let them know they are important to you. Give them ideas on how to feel good about themselves. Sit down with them to make a list about all the things that makes kids unique. Help them become self-aware of their wonderful qualities. This will help their self-esteem.
Remind them of their own unique qualities when they have a hard time with other skills. Model non-competitive behaviors with other. If they see the parent compete with the neighbors, it will make them think they have to become competitive whether they wish to or not. Instead point out that everyone has different qualities and that is ok. Finding the good in oneself and in others is a great practice and can become a fun game.
This will help the child become more resilient. If they have a hard time with one thing, they and you can remind them about something that they are naturally talented in. Remind them of a skill they acquired through practice.
Share with them if there is something is hard for you, so they know that it is normal that we have good days or bad days. This will help them cope when thing are difficult. Self-esteem is closely related with a realistic self-image.
Also listen to them and pay attention to them. If you are separated from your kids all day because of school and your work, you can connect with them through their Hawkeye Smartwatches and your Vigilint Family Assistant app.
In America, we grow up with a romantic vision of being explorers who conquer the wilds and create new homes and lives in the wilderness. During the frontier days Americans hunted for food. They sustained themselves and lived off the land. Beautiful vistas, wide open grasslands, forests, and log cabins by the lake were a fact of life, not such a very long time ago.
Shooting dear, rabbits, or even wild boars, geese and ducks was a way of life. Hunting was a necessary part of sustaining the family in a land that had few stores. It was romanticized in literature, in TV Shows and the movies.
Fast Forward to Parkland, FL and Santa Fé, TX in 2018
“I’d be comfortable with our teachers having guns,” said Tessa Ybarra, 15, a sophomore at Santa Fe High School. “If Ms. T and Ms. Perkins had guns, maybe they could have protected themselves,” she said, referring to Cynthia Tisdale and Glenda Ann Perkins, the two teachers killed on Friday. NYT
Do you agree with Tessa Ybarra? The gun lobby agrees with her.
The NRA, a 501 (c) (3) tax-exempt organization, claimed that they provided a means to raise millions of dollars to fund gun safety and educational projects of benefit to the general public. While they certainly succeed in influencing Congress and have over 5 Million members, and a supportive group of wealthy individuals who support assault rifle sales to 18 year olds, the gun safety part of their proclaimed mission is failing miserably. Now they practically promote gun violence.
“I don’t understand why I could still go in a store and buy a weapon of war,” said Sam Zeif, 18, sobbing after he described texting his family members during the attack. “Let’s never let this happen again, please, please.” Reuters
Why is it that Americans as a whole, can’t understand that guns are used to kill innocent children and adults?
With school shooting on the rise it actually is not romantic any longer. Good Housekeeping reported that since the beginning of 2018, 20 people were killed at school to do gun violence.
Recie Tisdale, son of Cynthia Tisdale, who was a substitute teacher at Santa Fe High School. told the Washington Post, “She started substitute teaching because she loved to help children. She didn’t have to do it. She did it because she loved it.”
Gun violence is not romantic. Letting go of the Frontiers’ men fantasy will take a long time. It is so compelling. Meanwhile stay in touch with your kids and parents. Talk to them, stay aware of what they are going through. The Vigilint Parental Assistant App is designed to allow parents to communicate via Hawkeye Smartwatches with their elementary school children. Harvard research shows that stress affects brain development. The damage caused to the next generation goes way beyond the gun violence.
Protect, Encourage and Communicate with Your Children Always
We fall in love, get engaged and get married. When we have kids we start to genuinely reflect about our own heritage and value system.
Immigrants experience culture shock when value systems clash with those of others.
When our kids arrive we naturally remember our own childhoods. We want our kids to enjoy their childhood and grow up to have a wonderful life. As parents with want to prepare them in the best possible way. When kids go to school they experience new attitudes by their teachers and especially by their peers. Often, these attitudes might raise issues that we never really consciously contemplated.
To keep them our kids emotionally safe, we want the ability to communicate with them. We need to allow them to ask questions, as they arise. We do well to genuinely try to answer as many questions our children ask, as possible. We want to admit that we may not have the answer ourselves. We also need to acknowledge that there are differences between the way we live at home and the way society shapes our attitudes and value systems.
Other parents may have raised their kids with entirely different value systems. They may think it is adorable when a child doesn’t worry about soiling their clothes, touching doorways with muddy or sticky hands, rough-houses, or throws rocks. “Kids will be kids.” is often the prevailing attitude. In other cultures the prevailing attitude maybe: “Kids are seen not heard.” Straddling the differences is a challenge for all families who wish to raise kids who develop situational awareness.
I believe that being polite, considerate, and honest helps to foster self-respect. These are traits that help us to get along with others and ourselves. Regardless of the setting, it fosters friendships and good will. Most people greatly enjoy being treated in a considerate way; being heard and listened to politely; being able to rely that they are not lied to or deceived; that they are not being taken for granted.
Most people regardless of their background love being treated with respect.
Parents often struggle to find a healthy balance between the ways they wish to pass down to their children, and the need to allow kids to adapt to their surroundings. Children need to get along with others, even with kids who encouraged to be tough and and mean.
Communicate with your child, and perhaps even listen in with the Vigilint Family Assistance app. By empowering the child to share with you in real-time, what they are dealing with, as it happens, helps parents to better guide them in practical ways.
Your real-time advice helps your children feel safe and cared about. At the very least kids will know, their parents care about them deeply. This fosters self-esteem and helps children to develop a solution-oriented attitude and to seek advice when needed. They will not feel alone. They feel supported by their families.
We are apparently living in a loneliness epidemic. Over the past 80 years our culture has changed a lot and over the past 30 years industrialized nations may have lost our cultural bearing.
I learn recently of a lady in Japan who died and only after her corps smelled terrible did the neighbors realize that she had passed. In Japan they have a word for “dying alone,” they call it Kodokushi. Several hundred thousand people pass away, without a relative or friend who cares about them. I thought it was terrible and I was shocked that a nation of over 100 Million people would not care for their families or neighbors. Then I found out that over 45 Million people in quasi “First World Nations” are lonely. That doesn’t sound very “first world.” It is embarrassing and a sign we need to rethink our lives.
Recently I joined the marketing effort of Vigilint Biosensors, a company that has designed affordable smart watches that allow parents to check in on and communicate with their children and loved ones. The Vigilint Family Assistant is an app that you can download that links to the kids or elderly parents Vigilint Smartwatches. When I started reading up on the topic I couldn’t believe it. OMG. It is a world wide epidemic. Apparently over 40% of people in the US report that they are feeling lonely. And experts think that the actual number is higher. How can that be?
Loneliness is deadly. Literally. First of all it doesn’t feel very nice. Remember how you felt when your first girl friend or boy friend didn’t call you back for several hours, when you first started dating and you were not sure whether they really loved you yet? That feeling. It feels like that. Most unhealthy.
Apparently it is genuinely unhealthy to feel lonely. Vivek Murty, who served as the 19th Surgeon General in the US, shared that one of his more shocking experiences as SG was loneliness: “I met middle and high school students in urban and rural areas who turned to violence, drugs, and gangs to ease the pain of their loneliness. I sat with mothers and fathers who had lost sons and daughters to drug overdoses and were struggling to cope alone because of the unfortunate stigma surrounding addiction.” He went on to say: “During my years caring for patients, the most common pathology I saw was not heart disease or diabetes; it was loneliness. The elderly man who came to our hospital every few weeks seeking relief from chronic pain was also looking for human connection: He was lonely. The middle-aged woman battling advanced HIV who had no one to call to inform that she was sick: She was lonely too. I found that loneliness was often in the background of clinical illness, contributing to disease and making it harder for patients to cope and heal. ” (1)
Vigilint Biosensors has been created by a bunch of highly successful Silicon Valley Semiconductor engineers, who created microchips for mobile phones that measure vital signs. Is the person moving, is the person where they are supposed to be? It also allows you to talk to them through their affordable VB wrist watch. They will not lose their phone, since it is tied around their wrist. Brilliant I say!
And apparently it not only reduces the stress of the parent, it also reduces the stress in the kids and the elderlies. Social connections are so vital to our health. Apparently stress increases the cortisol level which is some kind of hormone in our bodies. Loneliness increases the stress hormone called cortisol very much. This causes inflammation which according to Time Magazine is responsible for stress-related difficulties including obesity, diabetes, metabolic disorders, heart diseases and other disorders. (2)
So this weekend, hug your mom, your grandmother, your dad and your kids, and make sure you check in with your neighbors. Apparently for young and old loneliness is an epidemic and nearly every second person feels lonely. Smile, say hello and ask: “How do you do.” And mean it. Increasing your social circle may be the best medicine against: “Kodokushi.” And I am sure you agree, none of us want to have that.
Instead talk with your family regularly. Even if they are all grown, talk at least once a week, but more often if possible that is the only way you have enough time for a genuine relationship. Only regular contact let’s you know what is going on in their lives and for them to know what is going on in yours. Bob Black once wrote a great tagline: “Reach out and touch someone.” If you can’t do it physically, do with via a text and even better a conversation.
There are plenty of people to call. The New York times claimed that about one-third of Americans older than 65 now live alone, and half of those over 85 do. Loneliness can be fixed. We need to reintroduce the concept of TLC and talk to each other. I love the quote that Vigilint Biosensors execs use:
Vigilint Biosensors is about moving people from the Internet of Things to the Internet of Caring.
Love that! Happy trails and if you feel lonely reach out. Call someone you haven’t talk with in a while. Remind them of the good times you had. You will be surprised how happy it will make them to get your call after all these years. Tell them you remember them and you feel good about your memories. It works.
Hawkeye Watches by Vigilint Biosensors keep parents connected to kids.
Photo by https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/gun-deaths-wars/
